Keeping the Ball Rolling

Once the venue was booked, I sort of took off running. I wasted no time booking the photographer, Jeremy Lawson (LOVE him) and the DJ. I started working on nailing down a caterer and this is proving to be more difficult then I thought. Caterers are ridiculous. I don't know how much cooking any of you do - I know that I do very little, but I do know the cost of chicken and it is not $76 per piece. When I read that from one particular caterer I thought to myself "Are you HIGH?!" This decision has been stressing me out more than anything. I'm glad I'm dealing with all of the big stuff now so I don't have to worry about it in 6 months. I started to look into all of my flower options and quickly decided that this decision will not be made by me. I can't handle it. I know nothing about flowers and I don't care about flowers. The only thing I care about is the color and the cost. My mom decided to take the reigns on this one. THANK GOD.

Moving on, the whole wedding planning process is maddening. I absolutely do not understand how some women turn this into a career after they plan their own wedding. I don't think this is fun AT ALL. I get annoyed with MYSELF for being obsessed about things that I normally would not care about. Linens, flowers, chairs..are you kidding? Why? So stupid. Oh, and now I'm bidding on doilies on eBay. WHY!?! Apparently though, these things matter in some circles.

I have to keep reminding myself - nobody will remember the things I think they will remember. They will remember they came to my wedding, we got married and we had an open bar.

Is it next year yet?

Oh Sh*t.

Things are really starting to pick up and I'm feeling a little- vomity. Is that a word? I don't know but I'm feeling it. We have finally set a date and I feel like I'm going to break out in hives. It's all so..real. We are going to put our deposit down on our venue tomorrow and I'm a mix of happy, excited and I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. You know that feeling you get when you're bidding on a really awesome item on ebay and your imagining yourself opening the package when it arrives and you make all these plans to do fun things with your new purchase and then at the very last minute you realize "maybe I don't need to spend $75 on a Mickey Mouse waffle maker" but it's too late, you've found that you won and now you're stuck with a Mickey Mouse waffle maker? I feel like that. I've lost you, haven't I? It's okay. I'm feeling so, so happy that this is all happening after all these years together but at the same time I feel on the verge of an anxiety attack every time I think about all that needs to been done. I know I'm not doing it alone, but I can't help but feel like this is all on me. I call the shots. For someone who is not a planner in the slightest and really just sort of likes to go with the flow (though I am known for being very punctual - weird) this is not a position I'm comfortable in. But, I press on.

On top of picking our date which I'm keeping a semi-secret for the time being (because I think we are Beyonce and Jay-Z for some reason) we have also picked the venue (which is not really a secret) and I have ordered and received my dress within two weeks. I KNOW. I have my dress. If you remember I was just complaining about how I was trying on anything with a little bit of sparkle and was completely underwhelmed. The tide turned.

One task down, one million, seven hundred and fifty-two more to go.

I recently schooled Brian on some of things I've been researching and he was completely taken aback by all the recon I've done. Oh sweetie. I've been on this mission since well before we were engaged. He has no idea that I've researched more venues than I'd like to admit, visited more blogs in a day than work I'm actually paid for, looked at numerous photos and videos of complete strangers intimate wedding moments- stalker style. I'm going to need him to get at my level. GET THERE.

We are currently deciding whether or not we want to spend an obscene amount of money on photos and video. I had to educate him on the fine art of "This Is What Your Money Gets You". If you want cool, unique, fun photos you are going to have to drop a lot of coin and maybe kick your Rockstar habit for the next year, otherwise we are going to have to commission a stranger off the street who'll do our wedding with a Walmart special camera for the low low price of a pack of smokes and a hot meal. We are considering Jeremy Lawson who is absolutely AMAZING. I mean, I haven't met him or anything, but his photos are literally stunning. We have a couple videographers on the agenda as well but we are still undecided. I suppose we should start with something easier like the caterer. Baby steps. This is how all this stuff is going to get done: tiny little baby steps, coffee, my mom and my sister. And maybe I'll pick up a cocaine habit, just to keep me on my toes. (Kidding.)

No, No, No. NO!

I've really got to get better at updating this thing. The planning process is starting to pick up a bit but is still in a bit of a holding pattern.  Here are the things that have happened in the last month:

My mom and I went to visit the Byron Colby Barn. Prior to my engagement, I may or may not have been scouting locations for a long time just to a) be prepared, b) see what is out there and c) fill my time while sitting at my desk. I'd sort of dismissed it, but after seeing newer photos of a recent wedding online I decided to give it a second look. It is situated in the middle of a subdivision but it's not distracting. I don't have all the history off the top of my head, but I know it does have some interesting history. Walking in, it looks a bit small but I'm not willing to count it out. The wood floors are worn and I sort of dig that look. There are exposed wood beams which I absolutely adore. Attached to the barn is a silo. I was told that most people choose to have the bar set up in there which makes sense since there is not a whole lot of space, especially if your event is on the larger side. There is a neat loft area where you can seat either your rowdier friends or the youngsters which I really enjoyed. There are two different places you can hold a ceremony - gazebo and the market square area. It's all very quaint. The bathrooms leave much to be desired but I think this is something I'm going to have to live with when going with an unconvential wedding venue. One other point in the cons section is the lack of bridal room. This is only the second place I've seen but when I come up with ideas, I have this place in mind. I don't know. It's different, less formal, but has so much potential - sort of like me. : )

Brian and I have plans to see it when it is set up for a wedding, but I'm thinking this might be it. Stay tuned!

Now, on to the dress shopping. I honestly believed that this would be easy. I am quickly learning that I am going to be THAT bride. The one who tries on 40 dresses and is still not satisfied with my final decision. I've tried on several, I mean, SEVERAL beautiful dresses but I've found something wrong with each of them and believe it or not, it wasn't the price! (I've actually decided to come up on my dress budget. I'm sure nobody is surprised). Either they are too heavy, too plain, too sparkly or too formal.  There was a moment last week when I found the most gorgeous dress online. I called approximately 8 stores and nobody has it for me to try on. Major bummer. This worked both me and my lovely and exciteable friend Jill into quite a frenzy. It was insane. I think Jill said she needed a snack after all the excitment. I briefly contemplated driving 5 hours to try it on and/or paying $100 to have it sent to the Chicago Macy's. This earned me the nickname "Bride Diva" among a few of the attorneys I work with/for. Apparently, when you find your dress you just "know". I'm not sure what this moment is supposed to feel like but something tells me I have not had it yet if I even have to question. The quest continues.

Between my duties as an amazing legal assistant and phenomenal person in general (what?) I've been browsing the wedding blogs for ideas. Here are a few:

I love the middle photo with the large flower on the back of the chairs. I also love the idea of bunches of babies breath - for the ceremony, not reception.

The idea of having a picture station where people can use the chalkboard to write funny, cute notes or thier names seems like such a fun idea. Particularly after a few adult beverages are consumed.

Using the white ceramic cake stand and dishes for the dessert table is probably the idea I am most on board with so far. I think it is adorable and pretty and fitting with my more casual theme without being cheap and tacky.

That's all I leave you with for now. I promise I'll try to update more! : )

On To The Next One

This past weekend marked the start of my venue search. This search will probably be sporadic. Like I've been saying, I'm not to eager to plan this wedding. It's just quite a bit of work. Work that I'm not used to doing. : )

I'm reluctant to mention which venue we went to visit first. I don't want to bad mouth it becaue it wasn't AWFUL, but I'm afraid that I might be too identifiable should the coordinator of this particular venue seek me out and black list me from all venues in the Chicagoland area for speaking ill of her and the place she operates. With that being said, my experience was less than thrilling.

A few days before our scheduled visit, I decided to let Brian off the hook. I didn't want to waste his time and I know there were about 10,000 other things he'd rather be doing than looking at spaces for our wedding. Thank goodness he opted out. He would've been so annoyed with me if I put him through that. It was just my mom and I which I loved. So, we show up to this establishment. We were about 15 minutes early. I knew we would probably have to wait a little bit and that was fine. What I did not expect was waiting an additional 10 minutes after our original meet time. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Now, I fully understand waiting if I'm early, but if I'm waiting past my appointment time - that is unacceptable. For all you know, I have a pocket full of cash and I'm more than eager to spend it. Some may see this as unreasonable and that's fine, but it is just the way I feel.

So, this woman finally meets us and I'm already irritated. Not good. She proceeds to show us around. I'm not really sure how to describe this experience. It was awkward. She didn't say much and offered little to no information. Now, maybe I'm wrong but I would think that as a salesperson, she would be speaking of this place as if it was *the* hot spot for all things wedding. Not the case. My mom and I could've walked around ourselves and made up our own stories about the place and been more helpful. She seemed annoyed when we asked to see the restrooms (not nice) and a little more annoyed that we asked to see the "Bride's Room" (this is no more than a section of a conference room). She takes us into her office to show us a slide show she prepared. My mother and I sat in her small office and awkwardly stared at her computer screen while she sat there and picked at her nails. No explanation, no descriptions, nothing.

All in all, the outdoor space was lovely but very open to the public. The room was more of a rectangle than a square and the ceilings were very low. It is part of a community center so if you go in the wrong door you could end up in the middle of a Jazzercise class and I did not like this.

Back to square one. : (

Please Forgive Me for Being a Rolling Stone

Busy, busy, busy with all things NOT wedding-related. Now that things have slowed down, we have started to think about it again which is making both of us nervous. Yikes!

When I came back from a "business trip" that I'm not really supposed to be talking about, I settled into my spot on the couch, turned to Brian and said ,"We need to pick a date." One bloody lip later (mine), we decided to set a date to set a date. Yes, you read that correctly. We actually didn't set a date (to set a date) but we set a month to narrow down or date options. Well people, Brian and I are starting out ahead of schedule because we have narrowed down our options PRIOR to our deadline (which was still very vague, but it doesn't matter). I'm not going to go ahead and announce that date because we are deciding between two. This will be based on availablity of one of the two venues we are interested in. So..there's that. Progress.

Our new goal is to pick a venue in April. Like I said before, we have two places (and by we, I mean me, my mother and my sister) that we are interested in. Fingers crossed that one of the two are as good in person as they are on paper (internet).

I've done some browsing here and there and have decided that maybe I owe it to myself to expand my wedding dress budget...you only get married once, right!? So why not splurge a little? Shit, I deserve it! I mean, sure - I want to have a nice wedding but the only person I'm cheating by wearing a dress I just settled on because of cost is myself.

That's all I've got. Thank you Stacey and mom (my only two supporters) for visiting my blog. : )

Some Thoughts

I haven't really been up to doing research lately. I'm not really sure why that is. Maybe because the initial excitment of getting engaged is starting to wear off a little bit. I'm not sure. It could also have to do with the fact that the IDEA of planning a wedding is very, very overwhelming. Making sure that everything you decide is exactly right months in advance is tough.I change my mind more often than I change my underpants.

I know there are many, many people who are extremely excited for this wedding. This makes me happy because it means that people really care about us and are rooting for US. With that said, I would really, really adore a small wedding with immediate family. Why? Because it's easy. Because I don't feel like I have to impress any of them with something cool. With THAT being said, I know there are certain rules you follow in certain families when it comes to weddings and invitations. I won't get too specific because I don't want to hurt a single person's feelings, but let's be real here: A wedding reception is never, ever really for the Bride and Groom.

Just saying.

Now that I've said what I've been thinking, kindly go back to ignoring me. : )

XOXO - Gossip Girl.

Nothing to Report

I've really got nothing to report on the planning front.

Last weekend, I went with my mom and sister to a fabric store as well as Home Depot to get ideas for color combinations and for inspiration in general. You may be shocked to learn aside from colors I gained no real inspiration from the Depot. Unless of course you think different power tools would be make fabulous centerpieces.

It was really fun to just sort of play around in the fabric store. We hung out in the faux flower section for awhile just seeing what different flower combinations would look like. For .000005 seconds I thought "why don't I just use fake flowers? Who cares?" but then I came to my senses and realized I'm cheap, but I'm not THAT cheap. Not that people who use fake flowers are terrible people, I'm just saying it's not the path I would choose for myself.....(I don't want to alienate the people who have used fake flowers. One of those people might like my blog, see this paragraph and put out a hit. Again, just saying.)

As always, I'll let you know when something fun happens. Nothing fun has happened. Trust me.

If Looks Could Kill

Stacey and I decided to do a little research and development regarding my wedding attire. Since I didn't have my mom there I wasn't too keen on finding "THE ONE". I just wanted to get an idea of what style worked best for me and to get a general idea of what I was looking for. Unlike the typical bride, I have not been dreaming of my wedding since I was 4 years old, so I've never had a clear vision of what my dress will look like. Anyway, I won't show you the dresses that I'm considering but I will show you the dresses that did not make the cut for whatever reason. I will also say that the "maybe" dresses are just that. Maybe. I took issue with each of the dresses I tried on for different reasons but I don't want to rule them out entirely.

So, to begin the day we head on over to House of Brides. Now, I was operating under the impression that places like this - places that market themselves as Wedding Malls, didn't require an appointment. I was wrong. We roll into HOB all smiles and greet the woman at the front desk. She was pleasant, asks if we have an appointment. Still, all smiles I say "No, I didn't know I needed one and we sort of just decided to do this last minute, I'm sorry." Now, you would think that we just told this woman her car was being towed. This was how disgusted she was at the fact that we did not have an appointment. I couldn't even be upset that she was so annoyed because it was so funny. Like a switch had been flipped. I almost died. She was so put out. The hood part of me wanted to tell her off and say "Look lady, I realize we don't have an appointment, but I am not demanding to see your inventory this very second. Pick up your damn pencil, pick the next available time and put my GD name down." I didn't say that though. Always pleasant, I apologized again and said we would take the next available appointment. LESSON LEARNED. Make an appointment - for everything. People don't like when you just show up.

Anyway, we head over to David's Bridal where you also needed and appointment (who knew?! It's David's Bridal!) but they were very nice and accomodating and we were in within 15 minutes. I didn't try on much at either place and to be honest, HOB was very, very underwhelming. Thankfully, I have plenty of time to find something so I'm not discouraged.

So, the moment you've been waiting for. The "No" Dresses.

Tulle - NO.

For obvious reasons, this is a bit FAT no. There is not a single part of me that looks thin. Not even my fingers. Maybe my hair. Yes, it makes my hair look thin. Other than that, the most unflattering dress I tried on. It had a very pretty detail around the waist though. The only reason I tried this monstrosity on was because I heard you are supposed to try on several different styles, just so you know. Plus, Stacey made me.

Old Lady - No.

I felt very old in this dress. The consultant made me try it on because she'd never seen it on anybody before. It has all types of detailing and flowers and some satin - which I am trying to avoid. Pretty, but no.

CHA CHA - No.

I really only tried this on to be funny. This is really not me - with all those bullsh*t ruffles on the bottom. I'm getting married, not performing on Dancing with the Stars.

Too fancy - and heavy.

This dress actually looked pretty good on (in person). I'm not really a big fan of this material. It's super shiny. Not to mention, this is better suited for a more formal affair, which I don't plan to have.

Well, that's it. Now I know what works and what does not. My advice to people who don't have a clear idea of what they are looking for is to just go and try on different styles. Don't focus so much on finding "THE DRESS" the first time around, you could end up very discouraged. Knowing what style you are looking for really helps narrow down your options and your dress consultants will LOVE that.

Who Knows Where Thoughts Come From They Just Appear.

DISCLAIMER: We have not started "officially" planning yet. I'm currently in the Research and Development phase of this project. Yes, project because if I *really* had it my way, we'd be on a plane to a far off place where the weather is always 75 degrees, sunny with a slight breeze.

When I picture my "dream wedding" I don't picture crystals, roses, sparkles or excessive tulle. I picture soft colors, simple decor, home, vintage, warm. I've had some trouble describing my "vision" for my our wedding. Summer picnic is too casual and vintage-chic is too dressy. I'd like to say it's a combination of both. I want it to feel fun and casual, but still have that element of class that most normal weddings have. I'm not trying to re-create the wheel here. I'm not trying to blow the wedding industry's mind with my totally unique, crazy fun wedding, I'm just trying to make it unlike any wedding *I've* ever been to as far as style. Not too much to ask, right?

My Our number one priority is location. I refuse to get married in a banquet hall - or rather - your typical banquet hall. While these places offer great prices and packages, it is just not something I see for myself US (I've got to stop doing that!) The mirrored walls, the big crystal chandaliers, the crazy hotel carpeting everywhere - Just not my scene.

NO.

I've had my eye on this place for quite some time:

This is the Winnetka Community House. Um, in Winnetka. So far, this is the front runner.

As far as decor goes, let me distinguish between my "vision" and what Brian believes my vision is:

Brian's vision of my vision:

Okay, I'm not going to rule out this last scenerio. It *is* a party after all.

My vision:

See? That's not *too* country, right? My advice to Brian:

Just put your pickle on everyone's plate college boy and leave the hard stuff to me.

Thoughts?

I'm Like The Ringleader...I Call The Shots.

Setting: Tuesday evening. Our kitchen.
Topic: Wedding Decor.
Participants: Brian and I.

Me: Hey babe - Do you have a minute to look at some of these ideas I found and tell me what you think?
B: Sure. *Quickly looks through the six photos I've printed out*
B: I hate it. I hate it all. *Takes second look at one photo* Well, this is okay. I can get behind this.
Me: What do you mean you hate it?
B: This is way too country.
Me: What do you mean country? What did you have in mind?
B: Something more modern, contemporary.
Me: Such as? Colors? What?!
B: I don't know, like a nice brown..with a nice TEAL.

*******************************************
Did someone not explain to Brian his role in all of this? Maybe he needs a list.

1. Contribute Monies.
2. SHOW UP.

I'm only partially kidding. He gets to be responsible for music and his attire. That is enough responsiblity for one man to handle. If I wanted to be a beast, I could take away his attire responsiblity but I know how he likes to look as fresh as possible.

It's "our day" but really, it's my day. Let's not get that confused.

Coming soon - A few ideas. With pictures!

Here Comes The....Disaster.

My friends and I used to joke about my future marriage. Tagline: "You're getting married…..someday!" Well, someday is here. I'm engaged. This is not a test. This is the real deal. Please keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. If you know me at all, you know that I get into full blown panic mode just thinking about planning this event. Event? Is that what I want to call it? Event seems too...big. Reception seems too…formal. Party. Let's call it a party. Anyway, I would be lying if I said I have not been gathering ideas for this party for quite some time. It's been fun, thinking about this "someday". But now, it is frightening. I actually have to, *gulp* make decisions. I can't decide what to have for lunch on a daily basis without doing "eeny, meeny, miney, mo". This should be interesting.


I decided maybe I'll try to keep this blog. To talk it out so it's not all stuck inside my head and to perhaps keep you mildly entertained? I don't know. Probably not. Who am I kidding? This is a purely selfish undertaking – a storage bin to hold all the mental files from my internal filing cabinet.

I hope to keep all three of you who will read this (Stacey, Jennifer, and person who found this place on accident) up-to-date on all things "Stephanie and Brian's Trainwreck of a Wedding".

Enjoy! Or Don't…whatever.