We Voted, And You Lost: The Bridesmaid Edition

This weekend took me and the 'maids to House of Brides to finally decide on a bridesmaids dress. Before I get down to the nitty gritty, I have to say the best part of the trip was when Stacey told, no, gently screamed "YOU ARE CRAZY" at the receptionist. Because she is crazy. She guards the front of the house like someone is going to attack the President of the United States. I think I may have discussed her in a previous post.

Anyway, I had the girls try on many, many dresses. The process of elimination was fairly swift and quick. If one of the 5 of us didn't love it, we put it back. The exception to that rule of course is if I decide it stays in the running. Now, let me backtrack. I've been telling the girls since day one that I do not care about what they want to wear. I just want them to be comfortable and look good. I know what it's like to try on something and just *know* that it isn't going to make you shine. However, I do have a general idea of what is okay and not okay. I would love it if the girls all wore different, yet coordinating dresses - I was overruled. I would love it if the the girls wore short dresses - they humored me, but were definitely not feeling that direction.

I tried.

I know it is "my day" but I love my girls too much to rule with an iron fist. So, I was overruled. I would post the dress that I wanted them to wear, but it is one of those situations where it looks much better in person. I don't remember the designer we ultimately decided on (it was a very long day) but I did decide that the color would be navy. Navy is not my "wedding color" because I don't really have "wedding colors" (I know you're thinking: "my colors are blush and bashful" - "her colors are pink and pink"). I chose navy because I think the flower colors I chose will really stand out against a dark dress. Plus, everybody looks good in navy because it hides flaws. Much like black.

Anyway, once the stress of that situation was over, I had no choice but to treat myself to a chocolate cake shake from Portillo's. I bet they put a Portillo's next to a House of Brides for people just like me.

I Want It Just Like That, Except the Complete Opposite.

The beautiful thing about your own mind, is that you can change it. Often. Over the course of the past year I have visited several websites and blogs, bought a dozen magazines and stalked various people on Facebook who have recently been married or attended a wedding just to get ideas. Everything that I've said I want to do has pretty much changed. While I still love all of the ideas, I love other ideas more. That can be a problem. I like too much. I'm a terrible decision maker. I have boxes of shit at my house that will probably never, ever be used, purchased because I have way too much free time on my hands during certain times of the day (*cough*, work, *cough*). In that moment, I am SO sure that what I'm about to purchase will be a focal point of our wedding. But a couple months later I can never really figure out why I spent the money. I'll have to work on that.

As you know, we are able to decorate our space any way we want but we have to do it ourselves. This posed quite a problem. Initially, I was all for doing everything myself. There is a certain pride I was feeling in being able to say that I did alone.

Enter - Reality.

There is no way I can do all of this by myself. When I did a mental timeline, I realized that should one thing be even 5 minutes off schedule, the day is ruined (dramatic, right?). I just can't take that chance. After a very long, sleepless night, extensive list making and much discussion, Brian and I decided we need a day of coordinator. I met with Elizabeth at Anticipation Events last week and loved her. She has done a wedding at our location before so she is familiar with what she is up against, which makes me happy. She described this service as an insurance policy. This instantly made me feel better. I was experiencing so much anxiety and guilt thinking about my mother or other family members racing around the day of the wedding. They aren't employees! They are guests! They shouldn't have to do these things. So, I realize that hiring a coordinator makes me sound like I'm Ms. Money Bags, throwing a Platinum Wedding but that is not the case. Let's get one thing straight - I planned this mother fucker. Yes, curse words and everything. I pounded the pavement, I made the phone calls, I sent the emails, I mailed deposits, I'm sending out invitations, I'm doing crafts (okay, THAT I am not doing all by myself. Stephanie + a glue gun = not a good look.) So, like Elizabeth said, her services are an insurance policy. And everyone likes insurance, right? 
  

PLEASE COME BACK! I'm SORRY!

It has been way, way too long. Mostly because I had nothing new or noteworthy to share. I suppose I should've had an update in September and October but you know how these things go. Right?

July:

We booked our caterer. It took me quite awhile to feel comfortable enough to sign the papers. I had to be sure that we were doing the right thing. Let's be honest here - we aren't capable of hiring a company that serves exotic and exciting cuisine that uses rare meats stewed in far away spices. We don't roll like that (yet). We are excited about our menu though. It is...different. Different from a typical wedding menu, not different in a "what the fuck am I eating?" way. At least I hope it's not in that way.

We also secured a baker for our desserts and cake. He is a friend of my brother who works for a Chicago bakery. We are very excited about all the goodies he is going to make for us. We aren't doing anything fancy or exotic, just recognizable, tasty treats that may or may not remind you of being a kid (if you were lucky enough to enjoy sweet snacks as a kid).

September:

Brian and I had our engagement shoot with our photographer Jeremy Lawson. Let me just start out by saying that it was nothing short of awesome. Jeremy is so much fun and made us feel very comfortable. It took me awhile to warm up because you know I'm only good at taking photos when I've had a few drinks, but Brian was a natural. This guy thought he was a supermodel during the shoot. The shoot that almost didn't happen - if I must add. I completely mixed up the days of our shoot. Here I am, off to Jennifer's house for a nice lunch, visit with Jane, and jewelry raiding when I see several missed calls from Brian and one from Jeremy telling me he was waiting for us. Long story short, I fucked up and we did our shoot the next day.

We did our shoot at my old stomping grounds - Portage Park. A place very near and dear to me. Portage proved to have more to offer than drunks and bad ass kids skipping school. Jeremy was able to make Portage look BEAUTIFUL.  We were so anxious to see the photos that I literally stalked his blog for a month. It was embarrassing to say the least. When we finally got the photos I could not stop looking at them. All 93 photos. Non-stop. We were obsessed.

We absolutely can't wait for our friends and family to meet him at our wedding and we can't wait to see what he captures that day!


December:

I sort of slowed down in December, what with the holiday stress and all. Brian and I did start to put together a list of songs we'd like to play, what we don't want to play (Sorry Shakira, sorry Sean Paul, sorry G6 song). I did discovery that Brian picked not one, but two UB40 songs. Interesting. We'd be more than happy to hear input on this from everyone! We aren't music snobs! Naturally, Britney will be played more than once, but you must have known this. Love me some Britney. If I really had my way, we'd play all Britney and all Glee. ALL NIGHT. : )

Present:

It's time to kick it into high gear. I've made an appointment with a florist, set up a meeting with my girls to go dress shopping, hired a day of coordinator (more on that in another post) and am in the process of looking for hair and make-up. Oh, and I'm also trying to work on my fitness. So far, so good. It's just a matter of staying motivated. Motivated to do EVERYTHING. Particularly keep this blog up. If you've left me because of neglect on my part I'm sorry! Please come back! I promise I'll be better!!

Keeping the Ball Rolling

Once the venue was booked, I sort of took off running. I wasted no time booking the photographer, Jeremy Lawson (LOVE him) and the DJ. I started working on nailing down a caterer and this is proving to be more difficult then I thought. Caterers are ridiculous. I don't know how much cooking any of you do - I know that I do very little, but I do know the cost of chicken and it is not $76 per piece. When I read that from one particular caterer I thought to myself "Are you HIGH?!" This decision has been stressing me out more than anything. I'm glad I'm dealing with all of the big stuff now so I don't have to worry about it in 6 months. I started to look into all of my flower options and quickly decided that this decision will not be made by me. I can't handle it. I know nothing about flowers and I don't care about flowers. The only thing I care about is the color and the cost. My mom decided to take the reigns on this one. THANK GOD.

Moving on, the whole wedding planning process is maddening. I absolutely do not understand how some women turn this into a career after they plan their own wedding. I don't think this is fun AT ALL. I get annoyed with MYSELF for being obsessed about things that I normally would not care about. Linens, flowers, chairs..are you kidding? Why? So stupid. Oh, and now I'm bidding on doilies on eBay. WHY!?! Apparently though, these things matter in some circles.

I have to keep reminding myself - nobody will remember the things I think they will remember. They will remember they came to my wedding, we got married and we had an open bar.

Is it next year yet?

Oh Sh*t.

Things are really starting to pick up and I'm feeling a little- vomity. Is that a word? I don't know but I'm feeling it. We have finally set a date and I feel like I'm going to break out in hives. It's all so..real. We are going to put our deposit down on our venue tomorrow and I'm a mix of happy, excited and I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. You know that feeling you get when you're bidding on a really awesome item on ebay and your imagining yourself opening the package when it arrives and you make all these plans to do fun things with your new purchase and then at the very last minute you realize "maybe I don't need to spend $75 on a Mickey Mouse waffle maker" but it's too late, you've found that you won and now you're stuck with a Mickey Mouse waffle maker? I feel like that. I've lost you, haven't I? It's okay. I'm feeling so, so happy that this is all happening after all these years together but at the same time I feel on the verge of an anxiety attack every time I think about all that needs to been done. I know I'm not doing it alone, but I can't help but feel like this is all on me. I call the shots. For someone who is not a planner in the slightest and really just sort of likes to go with the flow (though I am known for being very punctual - weird) this is not a position I'm comfortable in. But, I press on.

On top of picking our date which I'm keeping a semi-secret for the time being (because I think we are Beyonce and Jay-Z for some reason) we have also picked the venue (which is not really a secret) and I have ordered and received my dress within two weeks. I KNOW. I have my dress. If you remember I was just complaining about how I was trying on anything with a little bit of sparkle and was completely underwhelmed. The tide turned.

One task down, one million, seven hundred and fifty-two more to go.

I recently schooled Brian on some of things I've been researching and he was completely taken aback by all the recon I've done. Oh sweetie. I've been on this mission since well before we were engaged. He has no idea that I've researched more venues than I'd like to admit, visited more blogs in a day than work I'm actually paid for, looked at numerous photos and videos of complete strangers intimate wedding moments- stalker style. I'm going to need him to get at my level. GET THERE.

We are currently deciding whether or not we want to spend an obscene amount of money on photos and video. I had to educate him on the fine art of "This Is What Your Money Gets You". If you want cool, unique, fun photos you are going to have to drop a lot of coin and maybe kick your Rockstar habit for the next year, otherwise we are going to have to commission a stranger off the street who'll do our wedding with a Walmart special camera for the low low price of a pack of smokes and a hot meal. We are considering Jeremy Lawson who is absolutely AMAZING. I mean, I haven't met him or anything, but his photos are literally stunning. We have a couple videographers on the agenda as well but we are still undecided. I suppose we should start with something easier like the caterer. Baby steps. This is how all this stuff is going to get done: tiny little baby steps, coffee, my mom and my sister. And maybe I'll pick up a cocaine habit, just to keep me on my toes. (Kidding.)

No, No, No. NO!

I've really got to get better at updating this thing. The planning process is starting to pick up a bit but is still in a bit of a holding pattern.  Here are the things that have happened in the last month:

My mom and I went to visit the Byron Colby Barn. Prior to my engagement, I may or may not have been scouting locations for a long time just to a) be prepared, b) see what is out there and c) fill my time while sitting at my desk. I'd sort of dismissed it, but after seeing newer photos of a recent wedding online I decided to give it a second look. It is situated in the middle of a subdivision but it's not distracting. I don't have all the history off the top of my head, but I know it does have some interesting history. Walking in, it looks a bit small but I'm not willing to count it out. The wood floors are worn and I sort of dig that look. There are exposed wood beams which I absolutely adore. Attached to the barn is a silo. I was told that most people choose to have the bar set up in there which makes sense since there is not a whole lot of space, especially if your event is on the larger side. There is a neat loft area where you can seat either your rowdier friends or the youngsters which I really enjoyed. There are two different places you can hold a ceremony - gazebo and the market square area. It's all very quaint. The bathrooms leave much to be desired but I think this is something I'm going to have to live with when going with an unconvential wedding venue. One other point in the cons section is the lack of bridal room. This is only the second place I've seen but when I come up with ideas, I have this place in mind. I don't know. It's different, less formal, but has so much potential - sort of like me. : )

Brian and I have plans to see it when it is set up for a wedding, but I'm thinking this might be it. Stay tuned!

Now, on to the dress shopping. I honestly believed that this would be easy. I am quickly learning that I am going to be THAT bride. The one who tries on 40 dresses and is still not satisfied with my final decision. I've tried on several, I mean, SEVERAL beautiful dresses but I've found something wrong with each of them and believe it or not, it wasn't the price! (I've actually decided to come up on my dress budget. I'm sure nobody is surprised). Either they are too heavy, too plain, too sparkly or too formal.  There was a moment last week when I found the most gorgeous dress online. I called approximately 8 stores and nobody has it for me to try on. Major bummer. This worked both me and my lovely and exciteable friend Jill into quite a frenzy. It was insane. I think Jill said she needed a snack after all the excitment. I briefly contemplated driving 5 hours to try it on and/or paying $100 to have it sent to the Chicago Macy's. This earned me the nickname "Bride Diva" among a few of the attorneys I work with/for. Apparently, when you find your dress you just "know". I'm not sure what this moment is supposed to feel like but something tells me I have not had it yet if I even have to question. The quest continues.

Between my duties as an amazing legal assistant and phenomenal person in general (what?) I've been browsing the wedding blogs for ideas. Here are a few:

I love the middle photo with the large flower on the back of the chairs. I also love the idea of bunches of babies breath - for the ceremony, not reception.

The idea of having a picture station where people can use the chalkboard to write funny, cute notes or thier names seems like such a fun idea. Particularly after a few adult beverages are consumed.

Using the white ceramic cake stand and dishes for the dessert table is probably the idea I am most on board with so far. I think it is adorable and pretty and fitting with my more casual theme without being cheap and tacky.

That's all I leave you with for now. I promise I'll try to update more! : )

On To The Next One

This past weekend marked the start of my venue search. This search will probably be sporadic. Like I've been saying, I'm not to eager to plan this wedding. It's just quite a bit of work. Work that I'm not used to doing. : )

I'm reluctant to mention which venue we went to visit first. I don't want to bad mouth it becaue it wasn't AWFUL, but I'm afraid that I might be too identifiable should the coordinator of this particular venue seek me out and black list me from all venues in the Chicagoland area for speaking ill of her and the place she operates. With that being said, my experience was less than thrilling.

A few days before our scheduled visit, I decided to let Brian off the hook. I didn't want to waste his time and I know there were about 10,000 other things he'd rather be doing than looking at spaces for our wedding. Thank goodness he opted out. He would've been so annoyed with me if I put him through that. It was just my mom and I which I loved. So, we show up to this establishment. We were about 15 minutes early. I knew we would probably have to wait a little bit and that was fine. What I did not expect was waiting an additional 10 minutes after our original meet time. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Now, I fully understand waiting if I'm early, but if I'm waiting past my appointment time - that is unacceptable. For all you know, I have a pocket full of cash and I'm more than eager to spend it. Some may see this as unreasonable and that's fine, but it is just the way I feel.

So, this woman finally meets us and I'm already irritated. Not good. She proceeds to show us around. I'm not really sure how to describe this experience. It was awkward. She didn't say much and offered little to no information. Now, maybe I'm wrong but I would think that as a salesperson, she would be speaking of this place as if it was *the* hot spot for all things wedding. Not the case. My mom and I could've walked around ourselves and made up our own stories about the place and been more helpful. She seemed annoyed when we asked to see the restrooms (not nice) and a little more annoyed that we asked to see the "Bride's Room" (this is no more than a section of a conference room). She takes us into her office to show us a slide show she prepared. My mother and I sat in her small office and awkwardly stared at her computer screen while she sat there and picked at her nails. No explanation, no descriptions, nothing.

All in all, the outdoor space was lovely but very open to the public. The room was more of a rectangle than a square and the ceilings were very low. It is part of a community center so if you go in the wrong door you could end up in the middle of a Jazzercise class and I did not like this.

Back to square one. : (