The Plastics A.K.A Bridesmaids

Stacey, A.K.A. Regina George, A.K.A. The Maid of Honor

My twin. My sister-friend. One of my besties.

I'm lucky to have such an amazing sister but she's such a bitch. In the best way possible.  She is really the only person who gets my jokes and she laughs. ACTUALLY laughs. Not the fake "I don't get it" laughs.  She is fiercly protective, even though she is the younger of the set. Recently, I put her to the test with my first outrageous bride request and she almost handled it with grace. I'll take it. She's an amazing mom, a loyal friend and an awesome sister.

Amber, A.K.A. Karen Smith

She's Karen not because she's dumb, but because she can tell if is raining by feeling her boobs. I have known Amber since probably the 4th grade but we did not become close until 6th. When I got drunk for the first time, it was with her. She touches me inappropriately, but it's fine. She is also one of the best mothers I know. She's the girl who just does not give a f*ck and has no problem letting you know. Also? She's fought for me. Like, literally. She's a good person to have on my team.

Robyn, A.K.A. Gretchen Wieners

Robyn has been one of my besties for almost 10 years. She was my first roommate. She is the best person to gossip with but, unlike Gretchen Wieners, she keeps my secrets. She has stalked with me. Not the cyber stalking of today, but actual get in the car, turn the headlights off, legitimate stalking. She loves like nobody else. She's sweet but she's a total bitch which means TOTAL PACKAGE. She's my little firecracker.  And I almost forgot to mention, she probably loves Britney more than I do.

Amy, A.K.A. Cady Heron

I have known Amy since she was probably 5 years old. We lost touch for awhile but had no problems picking up where we left off about 10 years ago. She's the only person I know who owns a Bedazzler. She's the hardest working person probably on the planet. She takes NO shit and takes a no holds barred approach to life. She's a fun drinking companion and is always good for "The Look". If you're at the wedding, you'll know it when you see it. She gets shit done and never complains. She has always been, as have all the other girls, there for me whenever I have needed her. No complaints, no questions.

When I look back at my wedding photos 10, 20 years from now, I know I won't look at my bridesmaids and wonder what happened to our relationship. I know I won't because they will be right there next to me cracking on our dress selection and our hairstyles asking "What the hell were we thinking?"

I love them. I love them all for their individuality but I love them because we all just fit together. We don't drink Cosmos. We drink 40's. In paper bags.